5 Most Common Mistakes Men Make When Women Pull Away

 

How to Be the Man in a Relationship and Achieve True Manliness

 

Knowing how to be the man in a relationship has nothing to do with money in the bank or what you can bench. Move beyond the shallow to true manliness.

We tend to equate a “man” with someone who makes a lot of money, wears nice clothing, and works out every day at the gym. But these ideals are all wrong and aren’t about knowing how to be a man. Sure, he’s still a man if he does those things, but knowing how to be the man in a relationship is more than just the physical and shallow things.

This is something that we don’t take enough about. What does being a man mean? How can you be the man in a relationship?

It’s time to explore and dig a little bit deeper into what it means to be a man in a relationship. Because trust me, having a fancy car is nothing. Of course, those things are nice, but at the end of the day, she’s choosing to be with you, not the car you drive.

[Read: What makes a man attractive? The things guys should focus on instead]

How to be a man in a relationship

Becoming a better man doesn’t mean losing your place in the world as a man; it’s not a weakness. In reality, it makes you even more of a man. So, here are some ways you can work on being a man in a relationship.

Let’s “man up” the right way.

#1 Embrace your emotions. You’re not a robot. This whole “men don’t cry” mentality is doing the opposite of making men; it’s preventing them from being men. Embrace your emotions in your relationship. That is one of the keys for how to be the man in a relationship.

You don’t need to hide how you’re feeling, whether those feelings are positive or not. [Read: 15 gender stereotypes about males that we need to let go of for good]

#2 Practice vulnerability. If you want to know how to be the man in a relationship, then open up to your partner. Being closed and unemotional isn’t going to get you anywhere. We like to avoid hard conversations, but those conversations help us grow and develop as people. Open up to your partner, and let them in.

#3 Actively listen. Your partner wants to be with someone who’s going to sit down and actively listen when they want to share a story or their feelings. People want to be heard. A real partner will put the phone down and give their attention to their partner when needed. [Read: Defining true masculinity: What does it mean to be a man?]

#4 Don’t try to fix your partner. You choose to be with your partner not because of who they could be, but because of who they are now. A real man in a relationship isn’t trying to change their partner. They love their partner for who they are… flaws included.

#5 Practice empathy. A lot of our problems would be solved if we just sat down and listened to one another. It’s important to practice empathy in your relationship and not judge your partner for their feelings or opinions.

Try to look at the situation from her perspective, taking into account her experiences and point of view, and this is a sign you know how to be the man in a relationship. [Read: How to recognize the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship]

#6 Take responsibility for your actions. If you made a mistake, being a man means owning up to what you did. We all make mistakes. But the difference between a boy and a man is how we handle it.

Learning how to take responsibility for your actions and apologize isn’t easy. But it’s a sign of growth and strength. [Read: 20 qualities in a guy that make him a really good man]

#7 Say what you feel. It’s easy to bottle up all your emotions and not tell anyone how you’re feeling. But that’s also a sign of poor communication skills. Being a man means expressing your feelings truthfully to your partner. Share how you’re feeling with the partner you trust.

#8 Kindness goes a long way. Learning how to be the man in a relationship isn’t about being dominant every second of the day and competing with your partner. Remember that a relationship isn’t a competition. Use kindness to lift your partner up. You’ll see what a little bit of kindness can do to a relationship. [Read: How to make a girl feel better – The tried and tested ways]

#9 Change the way you argue. It’s easy to be petty during an argument and criticize your partner. But conflict, when used properly, can resolve issues and grow the relationship. Instead of being negative and petty, change the way you argue and use the experience to get to the root of the problem.

#10 Practice self-worth. A lot of men have untouched baggage since we’ve pushed the idea that men shouldn’t talk about their emotions and feelings. But your past experiences have brought you to this point in life, and not all of them were a walk in the park.

Explore your past, work through your issues, and understand that you are worthy of a healthy and loving relationship. [Read: How to respect yourself: The secrets to self-worth and self-belief]

#11 Talk about sex. You want to satisfy your partner, right? Well, this means you need to talk about sex with them. What do they like or not like? What do they want to try? Explore your partner’s needs and desires in the bedroom and vice versa. You want to have more than just sex.

[Read: Fun and sexy ways to please a woman in bed every time!]

After reading this, I hope you use some of these tips to help you learn how to be the man in a relationship — the true type of manliness.

Source: https://www.lovepanky.com/men/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-men/how-to-be-the-man-in-a-relationship

What All That Touch Deprivation Is Doing to Us

 It’s going to be a while before we can hug freely again. What does that mean for our mental health?

Back in June, a few hundred epidemiologists and infectious disease experts interviewed by The New York Times said that it would likely be a year or more before they would feel comfortable hugging or shaking the hand of a friend. Thirty-nine percent said it would likely be three to 12 months. (Also of note: Many said they never shook hands anyway.)

Even for the non-epidemiologists among us, everyday touch has become a source of stress — and a negotiation of personal boundaries — in a way that it never was before the coronavirus pandemic.

Some people have gone many months without touch: It was one of the first things we were cautioned against, even before social distancing, masks and stay-at-home orders became the new normal. And eventually, its absence can give way to touch deprivation, which can lead to health issues like anxiety and depression, according to Tiffany Field, the director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami, who has a Ph.D. in developmental psychology.

Dr. Field calls touch “the mother of all senses,” and in her 2001 book, “Touch,” she argues that American society was already dangerously touch deprived, long before the coronavirus exacerbated it.

What kind of touch are people missing?

When asked what specific touch they missed the most, the answer was identical for everyone I interviewed: hugs. Anita Bright, 51, a professor at Portland State University in Oregon who recalled being unable to hug a student who defended her dissertation in early March, said she especially missed the tighter, longer hugs that accompany a reunion.

Jo Carter, 50, a project manager at the University of Wisconsin in Madison who lives alone, said that, pre-pandemic, she would regularly get massages and pedicures to have consistent touch. During the lockdown, she found herself crankier and more restless than normal, “hangry” almost, she said.

In addition to sleeping under a weighted blanket, Ms. Carter has begun cuddling the teddy bear she has had since grade school.

Sarah Kay Hanley, 41, who works in banking compliance in Oregon City, Ore., had a dream recently in which she was touching her friend’s freshly shaved head, which she had seen on a video call. She instantly got a tingly, A.S.M.R.-like itching in her hands, remembering viscerally the sensation the tiny hairs create.

“It feels warm and prickly if you rub one way, and soft the other,” said Ms. Hanley, who used to work as a hairstylist. People with buzzed heads rub them against your hand like a cat being petted, she said. She described touch deprivation as “a feeling of being totally disconnected from understanding how I felt physically.”

For Jenna Cohan, 32, who does advocacy work against domestic and sexual violence in Portland, Ore., the reminders were continual. She would see dogs walking by outside her window, and realize constantly that she couldn’t be outside and petting them.

Dr. Bright said it’s not rare to see the children of her colleagues and students venture into a Zoom screen and casually touch or embrace a parent. Recently, when a colleague’s 5-year-old child did that, Dr. Bright reflexively grabbed her own.

In the beginning of the pandemic, she found herself high-fiving low-hanging tree branches in a nearby park where she takes her daily walks, she said. She even has a favorite tree in her neighborhood park because it was often the only living thing she saw every day.

“It is the same body sensation that I would have in high-fiving a human,” she said.

How to cope with touch deprivation

Dr. Neel Burton, a psychiatrist and the author of the books “Hypersanity: Thinking Beyond Thinking” and “Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions,” believes touch is the most neglected of our senses.

In 2017, Dr. Burton, who lives in Oxford, England, wrote an article in Psychology Today about where that neglect comes from and the sometimes-cultural aversion to touch. This aversion can also dictate, he said, when and how intensely touch hunger may kick in for someone: age, genetics, coping mechanisms and the frequency of touch pre-pandemic are the other determining factors.

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“Some people may feel it within a week, others may never feel it at all,” Dr. Burton said. “No doubt the thought that you cannot hypothetically access touch — for example, by seeing a friend, or booking a massage — makes the craving worse than it would otherwise be.”

A 2013 study found that touch was the most important nonverbal behavior in the nursing profession when treating older patients: “In old age, the tactile hunger is more powerful than ever, for it is the only sensuous experience that remains."

Trevor Roberts, a psychotherapist in Bournemouth, England, is worried about people getting used to being alone, isolated and untouched. “Not to touch will become normal, not to visit family or just talk to them on Skype,” he said. “There is no substitution for human touch.”

Dr. Field, of the Touch Research Institute, described one treatment as “moving the skin.” The action is not just stroking, according to Dr. Field, but moving your skin forcefully enough to cause indentations and hit the pressure receptors.

Some other ways to move your skin? Scalp massages, abdominal crunches, brushing your entire body in the bath, wearing compression clothing or even just rolling around the floor can fire up the pressure receptors. Similarly, putting a 10-pound bag of rice, flour or equally soft, weighted material on your chest will have the same effect as a weighted blanket, according to Dr. Field. She also believes doing yoga is just as effective as getting a massage.

Mr. Roberts suggested seeking out different textures. Caressing and concentrating on the feeling of silky, furry, smooth and even rough surfaces, he said, can awaken the kinesthetic part of our minds.

“Some isolated people were isolated even before all this kicked off,” Dr. Burton said. “I like the idea of a bubble, whereby a household could bring in an isolated person from another household.”

Navigating touch boundaries

A couple of months ago, Ms. Carter invited a platonic single friend, who also lives alone, to be a part of her “Covid pod.”

“That first hug was both wonderful and odd, like it should be more momentous than it was,” she said. “I was so unused to being untouched by that point that it felt like I wasn’t quite sure that this was OK, at a gut level.” Ms. Carter said her friend is “a good hugger and a good friend, so it was good, but it took a couple of repetitions to relax into it.”

While they live separately, they practice similar precautions and see each other multiple times a week. “We get to hang out together, unmasked, within six feet,” Ms. Carter said. “Essentially, we act as if we’re part of the same household.”

Getting comfortable with such an idea and bringing a friend on board took her months. A few weeks ago, though, they added two kittens — Merry and Pippin — to the pod.

“Both of those moves are with an eye toward the colder months, when I think I’ll be even more touch starved,” Ms. Carter said. She is hoping to expand her pod to 10 humans for the winter.

Ms. Cohan in Portland has found herself still being more cautious than most people, not as nervous for herself when it comes to the virus, but wanting to do what she can to not spread it to others.

“I have hugged exactly one person,” she said, and that was a friend who was visiting from out of town and both were masked. “I am not going into homes or inviting people into mine. I’ve seen my family once, outdoors.”

Dr. Bright, on the other hand, flew to go see her parents and hugged them, but not without a great deal of anxiety about infecting them. Ms. Hanley, too, opened up her household to include her sister. After being unable to see an aunt who died or visit a friend in the hospital who had suffered a stroke, she said the decision to not be alone anymore wasn’t difficult.

“The effects on my mental health after no contact for months was getting downright scary,” Ms. Hanley said. “The only real solution was to find ways to get some more human contact.”

Ms. Hanley joined a reduced-capacity gym where precautions such as temperature taking and frequent sanitizing are in place; members tend to give each other socially distanced high-fives. She has also hosted five friends at different times in her home but isn’t blind to the risk. Ms. Carter called it her “risking touch credits.”

“I met a new executive, and he shook my hand,” Ms. Carter said. “What a lousy reason to spend ‘risking touch’ credits, you know? I’d much rather clasp the hand of a friend or someone who meant something to me.”

Source:  https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/style/touch-deprivation-coronavirus.html

This Is How Long Sex Should Last (From a Woman’s Point of View)

A lot of people conflate longer sex with better sex, but that’s not always the case. By Sophia Benoit April 18, 2019

You came here looking for an answer, and an answer I will give you: Sex should last one hour, 34 minutes, and 22 seconds—the exact runtime of Wayne's World.

Shyeah, right! While I have a lot of respect (and follow-up questions) for anyone who’s regularly managing to bone for the duration of a feature film, of course I’m joking. There isn’t a specific length of time that sex should last, but people tend to conflate longer sex with better sex. Marathon sex sessions are used as a measurement of just how steamy an evening was. And while quickies can be fun, they should constitute a piece of a balanced sex life—not the whole thing. They’re like the candy and ice cream part of the food pyramid—very tasty, just not intended for everyday sustenance.

While there's no magic number, one study back in 2005 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine asked a bunch of sex therapists for their opinions on how long sex should last. Their guidelines separated sex into four categories: adequate, too short, too long, and desirable. They rated penetrative vaginal sex that lasted from 1-2 minutes as “too short,” and sex that lasted 10-30 minutes as “too long.” Meanwhile, “adequate” sex lasted 3-7 minutes and desirable sex lasted 7-13 minutes.

It’s difficult to get good data on the amount of time the average person spends getting freaky—are you keeping track of how long you’re humping and pumping?—especially because sex can be defined in a myriad of ways. For example, some people (and most studies) are only counting penetrative sex, which isn’t a particularly effective way to measure sex, since it’s both extremely heteronormative and not the way most people with vaginas are orgasming.

So I asked a handful of women and nonbinary people how long they’d ideally like sex to last, and with a few exceptions, the answers settled around five to ten minutes of intercourse, and longer for foreplay.

One woman said her ideal was 10-15 minutes of foreplay and 10 minutes of intercourse: “I find I get rather impatient in bed, or perhaps I just haven’t met someone worth taking more time.” Another said, “I feel like this sounds short, but honestly 5-10 mins plus like 15-ish minutes of foreplay.” Another woman said, “I generally like sex to last 15-20 minutes, with intercourse being like maybe a quarter of that.” Two women and one nonbinary woman answered that their ideal sex session including foreplay would last an hour or so—which seems like an endeavor! Good for them!

It turns out people consistently say that they want sex to last longer than it does. Almost everyone I informally interviewed felt that their answers were shorter than average, when in reality almost all of them were either in line with or above the average duration of sex, which is around 5.4 minutes.

So while we’re all self-conscious that we’re shortchanging our down-and-dirty time, sex really doesn’t take that long—even for people who are completely happy with their sex lives. I don’t mean to suggest that shorter sex is better, by any means. But according to a Twitter poll asking, “Do you ever get bored during penetrative sex or want it to just be over already?” Eighty-two percent of the 819 participants said yes. The reason I knew to ask that (possibly leading) question is that I, too, have been bored during penetrative sex, just up there thinking about the fact that I need to check on the status of my car registration or how Joan Cusack hasn’t had a single leading film role (which is a damn shame).

According to another Twitter poll I conducted of 2,380 people who are on the receiving end of penetrative sex, most (61 percent) wanted the actual penetration to last about 5-10 minutes (without counting foreplay). Twenty-six percent said they wanted it to last longer than 11 minutes. For the most part, those who are penetrated don’t think that longer penetration is better, so you can stop thinking about your grandma playing baseball, or whatever it is you’ve been doing to try to avoid coming too soon.

So according to the data, rather than attempting a marathon jackhammer session, you should switch things up! In that study, the more sex acts that a couple did, the more likely both of them were to orgasm, and the benefit of multiple sexual acts was even more significant for women than for men. The lesson here is you don’t need to be having sex longer; you need to be having sex better.

Source: https://www.gq.com/story/how-long-should-sex-last-self

16 Best Dating Apps For Finding Love + Tips on Forging Real Connections With Strangers

It may seem like the days of couples meeting by picking up the same grapefruit at the supermarket or by striking up a conversation at the library are long gone, but (though rare) it happens and those love stories still exist. Of course, if you’re actively trying to date, fall in love, and/or get hitched, those love stories may feel a little bit harder to come by.
After all, nowadays, the dating world has shifted almost entirely online.
“Virtual dating will add another normalized option of finding a partner. A lot of time, people are limited to who they meet because of where they live,” explains Maria Sullivan, Dating Expert & VP of Dating.com. “With virtual dating, you can connect with people all over the country and really see who is out there, making finding your other half a little easier. Once the COVID-19 outbreak dies down, people will be able to go out again and mingle, but a lot will still keep virtual dating in their back pocket, just to keep all options open.”
Dating apps and dating sites are the new norm, with 48 percent of 18 to 29-year-olds, 38 percent of 30 to 49-year-olds, and 16 percent of people 50 and older using a dating site or app, says Pew Research. Numbers amongst the LGBTQ+ community are even higher, with 55 percent of lesbian, gay, or bisexual adults using apps; LGBTQ couples also report higher percentages of committed relationships or marriages found through online dating apps and sites.
“I love dating apps! (said no one ever). They are the future and it makes it so much easier for people to connect where they might not have easily crossed paths,” Andrea Loredo Bachalis, founder of the style blog PrettyProperQuaint. “Or even if they did and somehow didn’t notice each other. Peter and I noticed that we worked right near each other, also I went to school near where he lived, all around the same time and we never crossed paths!”

Related: 250 Conversation Starters for Any Social Situation—Even a First Date

Let’s be honest, you could touch every grapefruit in Whole Foods hoping another hand coincides with yours, but the chances of finding your future hubby or wife are eh, slim. Nowadays, you either swipe right to find your cutie, star in Love Is Blind, or get Married at First Sight on Lifetime…
“One main advantage is that with online dating, you are able to connect with a vast amount of eligible singles to see who you really connect with and want to get to know more,” Maria Sullivan tells Parade. “Additionally, when it comes to online dating, you aren’t limited to meeting people in your area. You can meet people near and far and hopefully get a better idea of what you are looking for in a partner.”
So, if you’re not sure where to start, maybe try diving into the dating app and dating site world before auditioning for a reality TV series. You with us? Great! Keep reading for the 16 best dating apps for all ages, experiences, races, sexual orientations, and more, plus success stories straight from the online couples themselves!

16 best online dating apps to find love

Best free dating apps

Love shouldn’t cost a thing, right? If you’re new to online dating, make sure to try out free dating sites and free dating apps first before committing to a paid membership. Free dating sites are the best way to get your toes in the water without your new dating habits affecting your bank account!

1. Tinder
Tinder was one of the first location-based apps to popularize the swipe right or swipe left mechanism in online dating. Essentially, you swipe right if you like the person’s pictures and profile or swipe left if you’re not interested. If you both swipe right on each other, you’re matched! (And don’t worry—the other person only knows how you swiped if you both swipe right and match.)
If you match, Tinder enables you to in-app message each other. The app is totally free, but it also offers premium memberships. Nowadays, Tinder has garnered a bit of a reputation for being solely a hook-up app, but it certainly didn’t start that way. In fact, when Andrea Loredo Bachalis, 29, and Peter Bachalis, 33, matched on Tinder in 2017, they knew their connection was something special. Now, they’re married!
“I knew something was special on the day of our first date,” Andrea tells Parade. “I’ve been on my fair share of dates, so I started to have little cues to look for and he was passing all my secret tests. Additionally, I could tell how genuine and sweet of a soul Peter had. I could tell from his Big Brothers, Big Sisters volunteering, his musical family, and how he spoke about people close to him. Our initial date lasted for hours and we basically had three dates in one night, so we could tell that we were extremely comfortable with one another from the onset.”

Related: 250 Deep Questions to Ask Someone You Want to Get to Know Better

While the rep Tinder has is certainly one of its cons, Andrea believes its easy structure to be one of its pros.
“I actually did not love Tinder, but it was easy to join and easy to use,” she explains. “No long questionnaires to fill out… Maybe I’m a bit lazy! I was on Tinder and Bumble at the same time and had a specific strategy for each app. That’s a different story for another time!”
After sustaining an injury and becoming someone who uses a wheelchair, Alivia Breann, 27, initially felt intimidated by dating apps, but with the encouragement of her friends, has now used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge—three of the most popular dating apps amongst the millennial generation.
“Entering the dating world was super intimidating for me. I had no experience with dating apps and had no idea how to navigate conversations about my injury/chair with strangers that I would potentially be dating,” Alivia tells Parade. “After years of my friends trying to convince me to try them out, I finally did, and my experiences with them have been way better than I expected.”
Weighing both the pros and cons of Tinder, Alivia says she likes that Tinder allows more pictures than others.
“You can have up to nine photos—the other Bumble and Hinge are up to six photos—and it has the most people on it,” Alivia tells Parade. “But it sort of has a reputation of being the app you go on to find something physical more than a relationship.”
Price: It’s free, but Tinder also offers premium memberships starting at $9.99/mo.

2. Bumble
The location-based Bumble app follows a similar swiping format as Tinder, only once potential couples are matched, the power to reach out via message is solely in the woman’s hands. (Of course, only if the settings are on for heterosexual matches; for same-sex matches, either user can send a message once matched.)
Parade spoke with Priti Joshi, Vice President of Strategy at Bumble about the initial goal of Bumble and how it has evolved.
“When Whitney Wolfe Herd founded Bumble in 2014, it was with equality in mind,” Priti tells Parade. “Her aim was to flip the outdated gender dynamics of dating by giving women the power to make the first move. As Bumble has grown, so has its mission: to help people of all genders and orientations make empowered connections in all areas of their lives, whether that means seeking romantic relationships through Bumble Date, making new friends through Bumble BFF, or building a professional network through Bumble Bizz. We are the first app of our kind to bring professional networking, friend-finding, and dating to one platform.”
The swiping app popular with millennials has come along way, as it now features the option to video call within the app, verify identities by photo (as to reduce ‘ and discourage catfishing), and voice call in the app as well. Oh, and if you’re worried about foul play on the app, Bumble is working every day to improve safety for its users.
“Last year, we launched our ‘Private Detector‘ feature, which automatically detects and blurs inappropriate images on the app,” Priti explains. “In 2019, the state of Texas—and our home state—took it one step further and officially made it a crime to send an unwanted lewd photo with HB 2789, making it a Class C misdemeanor. We want to encourage the millions of people on our app to make meaningful connections in love, life, and work through promoting kindness, respect, and empowerment.”
Bumble also has a few unique features to help you get stared. According to Priti, Bumble’s ‘Conversation Starters,’ are, “pre-written first moves that our team curated to jumpstart a conversation if you’re at a roadblock.”
“One of my favorite lines is ‘Hey! What’s your favorite thing to do after work?'” Priti says. “The other person’s answer will most likely give you great insight into their personality and what’s important to them.
Now for a real-life Bumble success story, Dee Hall and Dr. Matthew Hall. Even before Dee, 40, met her husband Matthew, 55, on Bumble, she knew she preferred the app to others.
“I liked that the men on Bumble seemed more serious and not just like they were looking for a hookup,” Dee tells Parade. “In my experience, the men on Bumble tended to be older, working professionals, which was a better fit for what I was looking for.”
Dee adds, “I don’t think I ever actually went on a single date with a dude from Tinder.”
But what she loves most about Bumble, of course, is that’s how she met her partner.
“I think we both had profiles that really allowed our quirky natures to shine through,” Dee says. “It was important to me that I found a partner who could read between the lines of my profile about my ideological views and Matt did a great job of that… Not long after our first date, Matt asked me to accompany him on a trip. We traveled well together and since it’s something we both love, that would prove to be very important. A couple of years later, we bought a house in Costa Rica together.”
Alivia’s pro for Bumble is the setting for heterosexual couples that made Bumble popular amongst so many women. “Once you match with someone, the woman has to message first and you only have 24 hours before the messaging capability disappears, which gives you an incentive to actually do it.”
But with Bumble, its pros might also be its cons for some. “If you are busy and forget to message someone you matched with, they’re gone forever after the 24 hours.”
Priti adds that, to date, Bumble has facilitated over a billion first moves. With more than 100 million users in 150+ countries, Bumble helps make 25 million matches per week. You can read more about Bumble’s matches on The Buzz.
Price: Free!

3. Hinge
Hinge’s tagline is “designed to be deleted,” meaning that the app feels its job is to create such strong connections between couples that they won’t need the app anymore. That’s pretty promising, isn’t it?! Hinge has been around since 2012 and unlike other free dating apps popular amongst millenials, Hinge does not used a “swipe” strategy.
Rhett Terrell, 29, and Hannah Gross, 27, met on Hinge in 2018 and because of the app’s unique structure, immediately connected over a common interest in sports and food.
“My profile said something like, ‘Waffles over pancakes, Lakers/Dodgers for life,’ so Rhett’s first message was pretty funny. I thought we both bounced off each other pretty well and he could keep up with the wit,” Hannah says. “It was fun chatting with him.”

(hinge rhett and hannah)

After a few weeks of chatting, Rhett and Hannah quickly realized they had a strong connection.
“I always found that if someone would text you for a significant period of time, they were there to actually connect and not just hook up once, which also is fine but wasn’t what I was looking for at the time,” Hannah tells Parade. “I got a job offer moving me [from New York] to Los Angeles around our third date, but chickened out on telling him until our fourth date.”
Hannah adds, “The fact that we both still wanted to see each other knowing I would be leaving a couple months later was a pretty big step I think, since we could have just cut our losses right then. We did long distance for a year and a half, and then Rhett moved. I think we both knew pretty early on that it was special and really easy to be with each other, so we just kept making choices to figure out how to be with each other the most we could.”
Alivia notes the pro of Hinge to be the more in-depth profiles. “They have a lot of prompts for your profile to answer, which makes it easier to start a conversation with someone.”
But the cons? “It feels like there is the least amount of people on Hinge, compared to Tinder and Bumble.”
Price: Free!

4. Plenty of Fish
If subscribing and paying for a list of singles is not your MO, but you still are serious about meeting new people and testing out the waters (pun intended!), Plenty of Fish is an often underrated option. To start off, each usertakes a POF Relationship Chemistry Predictor test. With questions that measure interests, important values, and personality traits, POF uses the Chemistry Predictor Test to suss out compatibility.
If you’re new to online/app dating, POF might be a good starting point, especially because there is no swiping involved. We’re not taking a dig at swiping; it’s just that everyone is different and if you’re new to the game, swiping can get exhausting and intimidating quickly.
Price: Free!

5. Coffee Meets Bagel
Need a little more structure? Swiping into the wee hours of the AM can feel exhausting. It can also make you feel overwhelmed with potentials. Coffee Meets Bagel curates potential dates for you. Every day at noon, your free Coffee Meets Bagel app will send you potential matches thanks to its algorithm. While messaging in the app, Coffee Meets Bagel also provides prompts based on each other’s profiles. These personalized icebreakers are designed to spark deeper, more meaningful conversations than the questions a user might come up with on their own. A great choice for people who maybe need help carrying a conversation or with knowing what to say, Coffee Meets Bagel is perhaps one of the more hands-off dating apps. After all, it does most of the work for you.
Katie Sperling, 29, and her husband Lee Steele, 30, met on Coffee Meets Bagel a few years ago.
“I didn’t like the design; it just didn’t look as nice as Bumble does, for example, except I liked that it seemed that people were more serious about finding a relationship compared to Tinder or Bumble,” Katie tells Parade. “Lee asked me for my number and we immediately took conversation off the app, which was nice.”
Katie makes a good point—that taking messages off the app can do wonders for setting you apart from the rest. “It [can be] overwhelming being a good-looking woman on a dating app,” she explains. “You get lots of messages and it becomes exhausting trying to find someone you connect with.”
After a few months of conversation via text, they met in person. Now, they have a toddler together and another baby on the way.
Price: It’s free!

Best dating sites for seniors

6. Lumen
Lumen is the mature dating app for silver singles! No, really, that’s how they describe their app. Designed for singles over 50, users on Lumen add up to three pictures and create a personalized bio. Each profile allows you to list your likes and interests so that you have a few good conversation starters to work with when checking each others’ profiles.
Price: It’s free!

7. match.com
match.com is an online dating service that has been around since 1995, basically the start of the Internet! Since its one of the longest-running dating websites, there really aren’t any gimmicks here. Users simply create a profile, then connct with matches. You can send messages to other users, arrange to meet up in person, and even attend events specifically designed for match.com singles. In recent years, match.com has specifically appealed to a more mature demographic, making it the perfect dating site for people ages 40+.
The website also has a few subcategories for a more specific dating experience: match for gay and lesbians, Asians, Christians, and more.
Laurel Lea, 59, is currently PETA’s Sexiest Vegan Over 50 in the U.S. and has been trying to find someone on dating sites like match.com, OK Cupid, and even Green Singles, a a judgment-free niche dating site for vegans and vegetarians.
“I’m on match. It’s awful!” Laurel tells Parade. “match freaking deleted the keyword search option, which means there’s no way to search the word ‘vegan.’ It’s the fastest growing consumer market on the planet, and they deleted it.”
Unfortunately, match.com deleting its advanced search option is hardly the only struggle Laurel has had on match.
“Let me tell you what happened to me today. The guy said he was 55. I am 59… that’s great. He reached out there was a tiny bit of banter back-and-forth, but I was busy. He says something along the lines of, ‘Oh I forgot to disclose I’m not 55. I’m 65.’ He didn’t forget to disclose it! What he should’ve said was, ‘I lied,'” Laurel say. “I’m telling you welcome to my world, LOL!”
Price: It’s $17.99 for the standard, six-month plan.

8. eHarmony
While not specifically toted as a dating site for seniors eHarmony tends to appeal to a more mature crowd, ages 40+. Perhaps because eHarmony has a history of matching life-long couples, it tends to appeal to people who are looking for a long-term partner.
When signing onto eHarmony, users fill out a Relationship Questionnaire. Behind the scenes, eHarmony then matches users based on the compatibility of their questionnaires and really focuses on quality matches rather than a littany of options. For those looking for something more serious, a handful of more serious suitors can really come in handy.
For some people, the in-depth Relationship Questionnaire leads to building more compatible matches. For others though, such an in-depth profile can maybe take the fun out of meeting someone new.
“I was on everything!” Katie says. “e-Harmony’s profiles are so elaborate, which I’m sure helps people find good matches, but it was almost taking the mystery of a new person away.”
Price: A 1-month membership costs $59.97; a 3-month membership costs $29.95 a month.

Best dating sites for special interests

9. Christian Mingle
Christian Mingle is a dating site for Christian singles who desire a relationship centered in a mutual love for God. The app is free and allows users to find Christian singles near you who have similar interests as well as similar beliefs. If you see someone on the app that catches your eye, simply send them a “smile.” “Smiles” open up the floodgates to messaging and is the easiest way to find out if the other person feels the same spark.
Price: It’s free to use but Christian Mingle also offers a premium membership that starts at $49.99.

10. Filipino Cupid
Filipino Cupid is a special interest dating site with the goal of connecting people from the Philippines and other Western backgrounds with their perfect, romantic match. Unlike many other popular dating apps or websites, Filipino Cupid does not use location as its main basis for connecting potential matches. Instead, users on Filipino Cupid understand that their soul mate may not exactly live around the block; in fact, they might live on the other side of the world!
Price: It’s free to peruse Filipino Cupid but to message back and forth, you have to subscribe to a membership. Memberships start at $25/mo for one month.

11. Jdate
Jdate is an online dating service for Jewish singles looking to connect with one another. The special-interest dating site has been around since 1997 and has been connecting Jewish singles for years. In fact, the app—which allows users to specify their Jewish affiliation on their profile, from Conservadox, Conservative, Hasidic, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, and Reform to “culturally Jewish”—has had some pretty famous Jewish users: American politicians Steve Rothman and Brad Sherman and singer Jesse McCartney.
The app also allows users to select “Willing to convert,” as their Jewish affiliation; though most popular in the U.S. and Israel, Jdate translates to English, German, Spanish, French, and Hebrew.
Jdate users can also specify their sexuality on the app as well—marking either men seeking men or women seeking women for same-sex couple options.
Price: Memberships start at $36/mo.

12. DesiKiss
For the past 15 years, DesiKiss has been connecting Indian singles. The site allows you to either search Indian singles near you or to expand your search to World+™, which provides unique access to members of all the World Singles websites. When logging onto DesiKiss, the site asks a variety of personal questions during the creation of your profile. From your favorite movies or media to “Do you smoke?,”  these questions are designed to suss out compatibility so that the most successful matches are made.
Price: DesiKiss is free to join, but their additional membership plans start at $19.99 for one month.

11. Black People Meet
According to Black People Meet, it is the largest dating site for Black singles in the U.S. and it’s been around, connecting Black singles since 2002. At Black People Meet, users can look for love, find friendships, and set up dates.
On the location-based app, you can send and receive messages and “flirts,” view other users’ profiles and photos, as well as see who has been checking your profile.
Price: It’s free, but to enable certain features, you would have to upgrade to a membership, which starts at $16.75 for one month.

Best dating apps for LGBTQ+

13. LGBTQutie
LGBTQutie is the app for LBGTQ+ people looking for a relationship rather than just a one-and-done hook-up. The free version of the app introduces users to potential dates as well as potential platonic friends within the queer space. The premium membership has some cool features like video chat, advanced search options, instant messaging, and a list of people who recently viewed your profile.
Price: Sign-up is free but a premium membership costs $10/mo.

14. Scruff
In case you couldn’t guess, Scruff is a GBTQ+ dating app for men who either have scruff or like scruff on their guy. It’s also the first queer app to offer an option for the transgender community, making it an inclusive dating app option all kinds of sexual orientations, preferences, and gender identities. The free version of the app is great for connecting with someone, but if you’re looking for more in-depth access, $15 a month will buy you advanced service, user videos, and messaging history.
Price: Scruff is free but for $15/mo, you can access premium features like user videos, message histories, and more.

15. Scissr
Queer womxn need and deserve a safe space to date online, which is exactly what Scissr sets out to do. While other lesbian dating apps have issues with fake profiles and homophobic catfishing, Scissr relies on Facebook sign-in to verify each user’s identity. Designed for queer womxn by queer womxn, the Scissr community welcomes lesbians, bisexual, nonbinary folks, and all other queer womxn looking to connect with others. Whether you’re looking for a friend, platonic relationship, or romantic relationship, Scissr is a safe way for queer womxn to connect, share, chat, and meet up.
Price: It’s free and unlimited!

16. Hornet
Hornet is one of the world’s largest dating apps for gay and bisexual men. With 25 million registered users, Hornet sees 4 million daily active users using its news feed and groups features. Designed to be both a dating app and social networking platform, to be on Hornet is to be engage in an online gay community. The opportunity to find love (or a relationship or a hook-up) is there on Hornet, but you can also find platonic relationships, connections, and friends on Hornet as well thanks to its news feed structure and ability to join groups.
Price: It’s free, but Hornet also offers VIP service (without ads) that ranges from $4.97 to $10/mo depending on length of subscription.

How to forge successful connections + dating advice

Are you nervous about using a dating app or dating site? Check out some advice from real people who have been in your shoes.
“I would just try not to take it too seriously and have fun with it. The more pressure you put on yourself to find a spouse or something like that, the weirder and more intense you’ll come off to someone else,” Hannah tells Parade. “I would also say, you CANNOT avoid bad app dates, you’re going to at least have a couple so try to see the humor in it. Be kind if they’re awkward, and if they’re rude or terrible you can always text someone to call with you an ’emergency.'”
Knowing what you want is also a meaningful starting point, Andrea says.
“As far as ‘success,’ I think that depends on how you define success. Whether you want to find a quick hook-up, a long-lasting relationship, or maybe just meet a new friend, I think you need to be clear on what your goal is and come with some sort of game plan,” Andrea explains. “If you don’t, then you will be taken along someone else’s journey and their goals.”
But beyond that, Andrea believes you should also just go for it!
“Do it!!!!!! Definitely don’t overthink,” Andrea says. “Start with one [app or site] not to overwhelm yourself and again, don’t overthink which one you join. You can always join another one later! Know what your goal is going in, have some sort of a plan, know very clearly what your must-haves and must-not-haves are, and just have fun!”
Authenticity is perhaps one of the most crucial tips for forging meaningful connections online and in person.
“I think for most people in my situation, the concern is that the chair will make people shy away,” Alivia says. “I made sure to upload photos where my chair is clearly visible so that I didn’t blindside anybody. I immediately started matching with people and having great conversations. I’ve yet to have a bad date with anyone I’ve met from any app and I got a relationship out of it.”
Alivia continues, “Most people tend to ask questions about my injury pretty early on, before even meeting, which I prefer. And so far, to my knowledge, it hasn’t hindered dating for me… I wasn’t sure if I was going to get anything out of these apps, but I’m so happy my friends convinced me to go for it.”
According to Priti of Bumble, the topics you choose to discuss do hold weight.
“I also suggest that you never talk about what you don’t want, talk about what you’re looking for,” Priti says. “On Bumble, we have filters and badges so that you can be intentional about the type of relationship you’d like to be in—whether that’s something serious or a bit more casual. Whether you’re looking for a new job in media, a new mom friend, or a date with a Sagittarius who loves live music, filters enable you to tailor your experience in a way that ultimately gives you more control of the kinds of relationships you’re looking to build. Assigning badges in your profile increases your chance of matching by 55 percent!”
It’s also important to photo-verify your profile, Priti says. On Bumble, photo verification is an extra step that shows your potential matches that you are who you say you are.
“You want your potential match to feel confident that you are who you say you are. If you see the blue check mark on someone’s profile you know they’ve gone through Bumble’s photo verification process,” Priti explains. “In an effort to continuously keep fake accounts at bay, we also launched a feature that allows you to request that your match photo verify their profile, too.”
And if you’re looking for some real, professional advice on how to find the one, Maria Sullivan has a few actionable tips for connecting with someone.
“Keep an open mind,” Maria recommends. “People tend to stick to their specific ‘type’ of preferred looks or style when it comes to dating. By opening up your mind and grabbing dinner or engaging in a conversation with someone who you might not often gravitate to, there is a chance that you find you connect with that person or are attracted to what their personality has to offer.”
Looking forward to the future, rather than thinking about your past partners, is also key.
“Don’t dwell on the past,” Maria says. “It is hard to put yourself out there and open up to finding a new partner when you have been hurt in the past, but there are so many new opportunities and connections waiting for you in the future that you have to look forward to.”
Lastly? Maria Sullivan’s best piece of advice is to show who you really are.
“Be yourself. I know this is a common saying, but it is so important,” Maria explains. “Don’t try to hide who you are or be embarassed about the things you like. Showing who you really are to potential partners will give you a better idea on if a relationship can grow.”
Even if a connection from a dating app or website doesn’t grow into something romantic, sometimes you end up with something even better.
“Some of my absolute favorite members that I’ll cherish forever are with people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise if it weren’t for these apps,” Alivia adds. “I’d say it’s been pretty successful so far.”
Now that you’ve scored a match, need some inspiration for that first date?

Check out this list of questions to ask a guy.

Source: https://parade.com/1061437/stephanieosmanski/best-online-dating-apps/

10 Benefits of Sleeping Naked You Probably Didn't Know

Sleeping is one of the most important things we do every night.
Getting the right amount of sleep has an untold number of health benefits and not getting enough sleep is a serious problem in many countries around the world.
So you should have heard of the many benefits of getting adequate sleep, but did you know that you can get additional benefits by sleeping naked?
Here are some benefits of sleeping in the nude:

1. It is easier.

When you don’t have to worry about sleeping in clothes, things start to get easier. You don’t have to buy pajamas, which can save you money. You have less clothes to wash and less clothes to put away. You may have to clean your bed sheets more often, but not nearly as often as you’d have to wash your pajamas when you run out.

2. It forces you to be ready to go more often.

Some people get off of work, change into their pajamas, and use this as an excuse to stay home the rest of the evening. This can lead to a more sedentary lifestyle, which has been attributed to things like weight gain.^[1] When you keep your regular clothes on, you tend to go out more often and that’s a good thing.

3. It can make you feel happier and more free.

Just imagine the feeling of laying in bed naked. You’re free of your pants and underwear. Women, you’re not wearing a constrictive bra. It’s just you sandwiched between two cool sheets. The feeling just makes you want to smile and it makes you feel more free. Everyone can use that kind of good feeling every now and then, and it may even help you be happier as a person.

4. Skin-on-skin contact is the best.

If you’re married, or living with your significant other, sleeping naked gives a greater chance of skin-on-skin contact, especially when it comes to cuddling. This kind of contact can also lead to a more active love life. All of this releases copious amounts of oxytocin, which is the neurotransmitter that helps you feel those good feelings about your significant other.^[2]

5. It could lead to better sleep.

Let’s revisit the scenario I described above. There are no drawstrings or clothes getting tangled in sheets. You don’t have to worry about shirts getting twisted. All of these distractions go away when you sleep naked and it may help you get better, deeper sleep. You don’t need science to tell you that better, deeper sleep only helps you be healthier.

6. It can help your skin.

For once your body gets to breathe. Your private parts, armpits, and feet are generally restricted all day and are often covered by multiple layers, even in the summer time. Give those parts a chance to air out and breathe. This can lower the risk of skin diseases, like athlete’s foot, that result from wet, restricted skin.^[3]

7. It helps you regulate your cortisol.

Cortisol is a very strange chemical in the body but it can do a lot of damage. When you sleep naked, it helps keep your body temperature at the optimal ranges so your body can better create cortisol. If you sleep overheated your cortisol levels tend to stay high, even after you wake up. This can lead to increased anxiety, cravings for bad food, weight gain, and more terrible things.^[4] Sleep naked so you can keep your body temperature down and sleep well so your body can properly produce and regulate cortisol.

8. It balances your melatonin and growth hormone.

Continuing along that same vein, keeping your sleeping environment below 70 degrees (F) every night can help your body regulate its melatonin and growth hormone levels. These chemicals help the body do things like prevent aging and are essential to good health. When you sleep in clothes, your body heats up and prevents effective use of these hormones. In other words, sleeping with clothes on makes you grow old faster.

9. It can keep your reproductive organs happier.

For men, the cooler sleeping conditions allows your testes to remain at a cooler temperature. This helps keep your sperm healthy and your reproductive systems functioning as normal. For women, the cooler and more airy sleeping conditions can actually help prevent yeast infections. Yeast grows better in warm, moist conditions.^[5] When it’s cooler and dryer, the growth of yeast is prevented.

10. Sleeping in the summer is more bearable.

Summertime is a tricky time to get good sleep. If you don’t have air conditioning, then you may find your bedroom a bit stuffy at night.
Shedding those bedtime clothes can help the bedroom feel more comfortable. You may even be able to turn the A/C off on those cooler nights, which can save you a few bucks on your electricity bill.
Don’t wake up drenched in sweat again because your thermostat is downstairs and the hot air expands up to your bedroom where the thermostat can’t read the warm temperatures.

Sleep well with your naked body!

With these tips in mind, it’s time to start taking off your clothes at night!
Of course, there are times where clothes are preferable. If you are ill or it’s cold outside, then you should sleep with clothes on to help you stay warm and prevent further illness. Otherwise, go commando!
If you’re looking for more tips to sleep well and get up feeling energetic, I recommend you to check out this guide:

Source: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-benefits-sleeping-naked-you-probably-didnt-know.html

20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2020

How to Get Out There and Find the One for You in the New Year

There's this common belief that falling in love is something that just happens to us. Despite all our efforts, there's nothing we can truly do except hope that the next person we meet is "the one."
RELATED: Best Dating Apps for Relationships
Sure, it might just be a type of right place, right time situation when it comes to meeting the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stack the deck in your favor. There are plenty of ways to cast yourself in the best light, increasing your chances for meeting the person who completes you.
If your 2020 resolution is to finally find the right person, you've come to the right place. Here are 20 expert tips for finding love this year.

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20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2020

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1. Put Yourself Out There

This might be the most common advice people doled out when it comes to finding love. In fact, you may be reading this thinking, "How much more could I possibly be out there?" Well, putting yourself out there goes beyond just simple things like visibility on dating apps or frequenting your corner bar.
"Create more opportunities for you to meet other people, learn new things, and generally improve and expand your life," says relationship expert Amy Hartle. "These should be things you actually WANT to do; activities you actually have an interest in. When you focus on doing the things you love, the right person will come into your life – not only because you're putting yourself out there and taking chances, but because when you're focused on the things you love, you become the best version of yourself. A potential partner gets to see you in your element."

2. Take a Class

"Education improves who you are and exposes you to not only potential partners who may be in the class, but many others who are around the educational facility," says relationship therapist Andrew Aaron. "Those who value education also share many other good values and thereby increasing the chance to meet someone special of high quality."

3. Perform Volunteer Work

What's a cause you truly care about? Volunteering helps to improve your overall mood and self-esteem, and connects you with others who share the same values.
"Unlike on a dating website or Tinder where deception and distortion are easy, participating in a group effort actually takes a commitment – something that separates those who are low in motivation from those who are vital, ambitious and determined," says Aaron.

4. Be Open to Finding Love in All Different Places

Opportunity waits for no man, so don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with a potential match at the grocery store, on an airplane or anywhere you meet someone who catches your eye.
"Being open can mean something as simple as making eye contact with others," says therapist Lauren Cook. "As you enter 2020, commit to actually 'seeing' other people in the new year by looking at those around you."

5. Network With Dates Who Didn’t Work Out

This may seem like strange advice, but according to marriage and family therapist Dana McNeil, the more you expand your social circle, the more likely it is you'll meet someone.
"If you and a date don’t work out having a love match, but you really like the person and their character, there is no reason you can’t help each other to network your perspective groups of friends or family members," she says. "If you are both able to be mature and acknowledge that a love connection isn’t happening for the two of you, why not put your collective network to good use and consider if there is someone that either of you knows who might be a good match?"

6. Ask People in Your Life to Set You Up

"It is very likely the people you admire and genuinely care for in your world hang out with and have a close relationship with other admirable and quality people who may also be looking for a new love," says McNeil. "Letting your network (co-workers, neighbors, colleagues, etc.) know you are open to and interested in meeting some new people this year is just reinforcing your efforts with help from a community who probably has your back, and wants to help you find the best match."

7. Leave Selfies and Filters in 2019

Speaking of online dating profiles, start putting your true self out there in 2020.
"Dating profiles that are filled with selfies make that person look like they have no social life, or like they love themselves more than anyone else ever could," says dating profile writer Eric Resnick. "You don't need a ton of group shots in your profile, but have your friend's take some pics for you. You are going to have a much more natural smile when you are relaxing with your friends than when you are trying to look at the screen with one eye and at the lens with the other."

8. Don't Just "Spray and Pray" Online Dating Messages

Sending out the same message to hundreds of potential matches online may make your inbox more full, but if you're serious about finding love this year, Resnick says to go for quality over quantity.
"Don't message a woman unless there's some evidence in her profile that she's looking for someone like you," he says.

9. Don't Be Afraid to Get Off the Wheel

Dating apps can be great tools to help you find love, but they can also burn you out. If it’s too much to handle, it’s alright if you want to take a breather.
"Online dating should not be a part-time job," says Resnick. "If you're spending more than 20 minutes of your day on it in 2019, it's time to limit yourself in 2020. FOMO isn't real here, but burnout is. The people you don't see today will still be there tomorrow, but your will to find them might not be."

10. Know What You Value

What actually matters to you in a relationship? Getting clear on what you value most in a potential partner will help make it clear when you've found the right one for you.
"When you are unsure what matters to you in a relationship, it can be easy to be swayed purely by chemistry rather than an actual character traits connection," says Cook. "Does your ideal life include adventure, safety, achievement, connection, creativity? From this, you can begin identifying what matters most to you."

11. Be Vulnerable Where It Matters

"Many of us either operate in a space where we are totally closed off or share too much," says Cook. "Find a happy medium where you are willing to connect in a safe and open way that allows you to get to know someone. You can still protect your heart without appearing guarded and defensive. If you notice that your partner has a wall up as well, carefully consider if they are at a place in their lives where they are willing to be thoughtfully vulnerable as well. In other words: Don't date someone who is not open to love at this time."

12. Own Who You Are and What You Want in a Relationship

If you really want to be in a serious relationship, why pretend you don’t to appease someone else? It's okay to make that known.
"Pretending to be interested in only casually dating or portraying yourself as someone who is willing to hook up without a commitment when that isn’t who you are is not going to serve you in relationships," says McNeil. "You send mixed messages to both the new partner and yourself by accepting less than you want. The right person for you will find it refreshing and attractive that you are willing to own who you are, and state your expectations about what you are looking for regardless of whether or not the other person agrees or validates you."

13. Stop Being So Rigid in Your Expectations

You may have a prepared plan as to what you want out of the person you date, but make sure you're focused on the right things.
"So many of my clients shoot people down before they ever have a chance to meet because of their ‘requirements’ for a new partner," says McNeil. "Not every woman has to be a perfect size two in order to be a fit." Instead, make a list of must-haves based on what a potential new person values – "their character, their ability to take personal responsibility for their behaviors, and sense of genuine concern for their needs," continues McNeil. "Then you are more likely to find someone who is actually a good long-term fit."

14. Consider Therapy to Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries

"The common denominator in all your relationships is you," says McNeil. "If you feel you give more than you receive in relationships and they often leave you feeling disappointed, frustrated, victimized or resentful, you may have difficulties setting healthy boundaries in relationships."
If you find yourself feeling that no matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do is good enough, or you catch yourself walking on eggshells out of fear about how your partner will respond to you, it’s time to do some work on yourself.

15. Evaluate Your Beliefs About Dating

Your beliefs about the dating landscape you're in can impact whether or not you'll be successful. Meaning, if your internal monologue consists of feeling like women never notice you, that you have to be a bodybuilder in order to get any attention or that all the good ones are taken, it's time to challenge that thought process.
"Our beliefs create our reality, so really examine what thoughts you think on a regular basis about dating," says relationship expert Kat Trimarco. "What if these beliefs weren't true? As you choose different thoughts that are more in alignment with what you want to experience, these new thoughts over time become your beliefs and shape the new experiences you'll have. Your willingness to see things differently will open up doors to meeting new people."

16. Have a First Date Plan

When you're going on a first date with someone you barely know, it can be tempting to leave the date up to chance. As Aaron explains, taking initiative to thoughtfully plan out a first date can really work to your advantage.
"Having planned for the date shows forethought; it signals to your date that she or he is important and worthy of your time," he says. "Pre-planning also shows leadership, a fine strength to demonstrate. Share the plan as a way of keeping your date informed of what will happen, but also to get agreement that the plan will be pleasing to them."

17. Incorporate an Activity Into Your Next Date

If firing questions back and forth at a bar on first dates isn't getting you anywhere, Aaron suggests planning a date that focuses on an activity both of you enjoy.
"A date that incorporates a physical element adds a source of conversation," says Aaron. "Taking a walk, riding bikes, going bowling, exploring a location, dancing, and climbing stairs to see a beautiful view are all examples."

18. Listen More Than Talk on Your First Few Dates

"I often tell my clients that the people you date will generally tell you who they are within the first few dates," says McNeil. "Allow yourself to have potentially uncomfortable silences without rushing to fill the void. Let the other person share the responsibility of creating a space that feels mutually acceptable, and see if the other person is aware of your needs during conversations."

19. Believe There Will Be a Second Date

The goal of any first date is to get to date number two, but going into a first date with that pressure hanging over your head can actually work against you.
"The best way to get a second date after a first date? Decide that there’s going to be a second date before that first date even starts," says relationship expert Jenny Block. "Instead, enjoy the date. Look for the positive. Remember that love at first sight is mostly in the movies, and love that grows is the kind of love that lasts. You just might be surprised by what you discover about a person when you’re looking for their best instead of their worst.”

20. Go On a Second Date Even If the First One Wasn't "Perfect"

"Many of my clients tell me they give someone just one date to get it right, and if they don’t feel a spark, then they move on," says McNeil. "Have you ever considered that maybe you should give someone a few dates to get comfortable, and allow some of the nerves to die down so they can show you who they really are? Give this person a few dates to get comfortable with you and you with them. There is no rush to get to the finish line, and sometimes a person grows on you once you get to see them in a relaxed space."
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  Source: https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/20-different-ways-to-successfully-find-love-in-2020.html